The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

OMG! Get away from my car!!!!

Okay, some of you already know this story, but I need to put it here for backstory: Several years ago (before Vic and I were married, so probably almost 5 years ago), I was driving home from my grandparents' house. At the time, I had a silver Mazda Prot├ęge. I was waiting at a red light and minding my own business. An obvious crackhead walked up to my car and tried to open the back door and get into the back seat. At first, I did nothing because I was in shock. I remember thinking, "Does she think I'm a hack?" ... then "Is she trickin'? Does she think I'm trying to pick her up?" ... then "OMG! A crackhead is trying to get into my car!" At that point, I freaked all the way out and started screaming, "GET AWAY FROM MY CAR!!!" The more I screamed, the more the crackhead pulled at the door handle, cussing me out the whole time. So, I am spazzing now - "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY CAR!!!" (I am pounding the steering wheel as I scream and my eyes are bugging out.) A few seconds later, the light changes and I speed off. As I drove the rest of the way home, shaking, I called Vic and my Aunt Cheryl. Both of them asked me the logical question - "Why didn't you just drive through the red light to get away from her?" Of course, that option had never occurred to me because I was too busy being freaked out by the raging mad crackhead trying to get into my car with me! Okay, so I posted that story so that you can see why the events of this past Monday were particularly hilarious and freaky. Monday, I was about to turn onto the street that leads into my development when I noticed an old lady walking slowly across. Of course, I stopped and waited at the corner until she crossed over. Just as I was about to turn, the lady leans forward and says, "Thank you" through my open window. I smile and say, "You're welcome" and again, prepare to drive off. Then I notice that she's leaning even further into my window, so I give her a pleasantly respectful look of "Hmm?" She says, "Gimme $3." I say, "What?" Old lady: "Gimme $3. I need to get on the bus." Me: Silent because I'm dumbfounded. I look at her silently, wondering if I know her. Does she recognize me and I don't recognize her? Is she a relative? A friend of one of my grandparents? After a while, I realize that I truly do not know this woman, so I say, "Uh, no. I don't have it." The old lady looked quite accusingly at my pocketbook, which sat on the seat. I thought to myself, "Old lady, you can feel froggy if you want to and jump toward my pocketbook and I'm here to tell you, I'm either peeling off and dragging you halfway into the cul-de-sac or I'm rolling the window up and taking your arm off." The look I gave her must have conveyed that message because she backed up with a quickness. I told my mother and Vic about the occurrence. They both said, "You need to keep your windows rolled up from now on." Um, what? That's all you have to say to the fact that I've been accosted in my car, not once, but twice by obviously crazy women? Neither of them seems to appreciate the potential for melodrama.


At May 03, 2006 3:07 PM, Blogger Tonyette said...

The JOYS of living in (and near) Baltimore! Toya, PLEASE keep your winds up! Do you have a look of "yes, I can help you with that!" as you drive? This is SO bad that stuff like that keeps happening to you! I'm VERY sorry to hear that!

At May 03, 2006 8:54 PM, Blogger Ericka said...

reggie gave me a mini-lecture about not putting my purse in the seat, too. i've made a conscious effort to put it on the floor.

At May 03, 2006 10:40 PM, Blogger Amy said...

One time J and I came out of City Cafe, and walked a block south on Maryland Ave. where I'd parked my car. And there was a woman passed out and sprawled on the hood of my poor little Honda. I made him get her up (at first we thought she was dead). She was all KINDS of messed up, and wanted us to drive her to Lexington Market. I don't think so! We got her pointed in the right direction and told her to start walking.

At May 04, 2006 2:11 PM, Anonymous Londa said...

Wow Toya. How crazy is that? I do remember the Edmondson Avenue story, but what was this latest incident about??? She could have been a straight robber posed as a fragile old lady. I wouldn't doubt it. Sometimes, you can't even trust little kids anymore. Too sad.

At May 04, 2006 3:25 PM, Anonymous rachel said...

That is funny. Yes, doors locked and purse on the floor! Eyes straight ahead!

Maybe the old gal just figured, "hey, never hurts to ask..."

At May 09, 2006 12:45 AM, Blogger hampope said...

I came to your blog via Blogdorf Goodman's Mascara Hunt and am enjoying myself. Your telling of these stories is very funny. These kinds of things happen to me all the time, but I would never, ever be capable of making anyone actually retreat from me like the old woman with her eyes on your purse.

I've only been to Balti once or twice, but I have friends from there who say there's no place quite like it. (And then there's John Waters, of course, and his homages to the city.)

~ polly

At May 09, 2006 6:50 AM, Blogger Toya said...

Hi Polly!

Welcome to my blog! I hope you return often and continue to enjoy the crazy stories.

I think the trick of being able to make someone retreat 50 feet, just by using your eyes, is something bred into each Baltimorean. We have enough craze-os in this city that it's a necessary defense mechanism.


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