The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My dance goals?

Tonight is my first private lesson with Lotus. As you all know (because I've said it a billion times), I'm hella nervous, but looking forward to it. One thing she suggested is that I bring with me the goals that I want to reach in my bellydance "career" - in 6 months, a year, 5 years. I've tried to write something out, but I'm frozen. I'm really at a loss. I've kind of thought about this, but always in the abstract, fuzzy, "Oh, it would be nice, if ..." kind of way. I've never had to really put some deep thought into it and make a few concrete decisions about where I'm trying to go with dance. What do I want from this: good exercise, to feel better in my skin, to develop grace, to make friends, etc.? I know that I do want all those things, but they can't be it. I wouldn't be pursuing this as passionately as I have and am if all I wanted was to feel better about myself, physically. I mean, I could lose weight and tighten up with a treadmill and free weights, yet I haven't devoted myself as fully to the gym as I have to bellydance. This dance fills something in me, emotionally, and I want to continue. But to what degree? Do I want to be a lifelong hobbyist or do I see myself crossing over into the professional arena? I'm pretty sure that I don't want to make bellydance my living because I think that will suck from it all the joy and fun that I find in it now. But do I desire to be good enough to get paid for a gig, should I want to go that route? Aarrrgggh! I am so frustrated right now! I can't make my thoughts settle down enough to get them into any cohesive kind of order!

6 Comments:

At May 17, 2006 10:43 AM, Blogger sparkles anonymous! said...

I think you should just print this and take it to Lotus. Seriously - you're already halfway on your way to answering her questions.

 
At May 17, 2006 11:53 AM, Anonymous Meloni said...

I agree with Sparkles. You are over thinking this whole thing. The answers are right in front of you, and you've just got to believe that they are good enough. What you posted IS a VALID answer! AND, as for you being hella nervous, you are a fabulous dancer. Yes, I know that I've never had the privilege or seeing you dance, but I know you. You excel at everything you put your heart into!!!

 
At May 17, 2006 1:09 PM, Anonymous rachel said...

I third the idea to share this with Lotus. I can't wait to hear how the class goes, I am SO EXCITED for you!

 
At May 17, 2006 2:12 PM, Blogger Tonyette said...

I just wanted to DITTO the other comments!! I think the fact that you have GOALS in mind is the biggest thing!! And also, why wouldn't "feel better about yourself, physically" be a "good enough" goal? Hopefully, though, Toya, one of your goals is to continue to inspire women and introduce them to the idea of PURSUING your PASSION no matter what! (especially those of us who are not a size 2, as far as bellydance is concerned!) I would have never guessed that so many FANTASTIC and TALENTED bellydancers look like me! Seriously, before I saw you and the others at that show, I really did assume most "good" bellydancers had to be "small!" Now, I know better and that's inspirational! (sorry this was so long!)

 
At May 17, 2006 2:16 PM, Blogger Toya said...

Thanks, ladies! I'm going to take your advice and present these thoughts to Lotus. I'm hoping that, in discussing with her, I'll be able to become more clear about what I want.

And thank you, Tonyette! Knowing I've been an inspiration to you is beyond awesome!

 
At May 17, 2006 2:16 PM, Blogger Toya said...

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