The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Monday, April 17, 2006

Tonyette's Question - Answered

From Tonyette: What's the biggest thing you wish you'd known about marriage before actually getting married? I don't know how to say this without it sounding trite, but the real answer is: I wish I had known how hard marriage is, on a daily basis. I mean, of course people told me that it would be hard, but I think I had the idea that "marriage is hard" = "every now and then, you and your hubby are going to go through hard times". Yeah ... that's not what they meant. They meant, "Marriage is hard every minute of every freakin' day." There is nothing I've ever done that has been more difficult than living with someone who was not raised by my family under the same circumstances in which I was raised. Do you know how different other people are??? Even the littlest things are going to be different about the two of you and each of those tiny little things will become a potential huge behind argument. Vic and I have had blow-ups about how I dealt with the DirecTV people, okay? About the necessity of having meat with every meal (a necessity for him, not for me). About his desire to decorate my basement with Alpha Phi Alpha paraphernalia. About my adamant refusal to listen to hip-hop with cursing sprinkled all throughout, regardless of how good the beat is. About how he steals my CDs and then acts all innocent about it. About football and the importance thereof. Okay??? All of the above is stupid stuff! Yet we had huge fights about it. Not to mention, that you'll have to deal with your in-laws. In-laws suck, do you hear me??? Even if you don't specifically have sucky in-laws, the whole idea of in-laws suck. Because, all of a sudden, you have an entirely new set of parents, as if you didn't have enough problems with the set you already have. And the new set? Didn't raise you, doesn't know you, and quite possibly, can't stand your guts. Because you're never gonna be good enough for their son, no matter what you do. Unless your father-in-law has a bit of a crush on you (a totally platonic one) and thinks you're great and just wondermous. But, in that case, your mother-in-law is definitely going to hate you, just to balance it all out, you know? Because there's no friggin' possible way that they'd both be nice to you, that would just be too much like right. Did I mention that men smell sometimes? And don't seem to care about it? And sometimes act as if the idea of doing the common laundry, things like sheets, towels, dishcloths, and whatnot is so distasteful that they could just vomit?? And they expect you to cook dinner for them even when you're on your period. And might cop an attitude just because you want to be treated like a queen 24/7. And that they sometimes just generally suck, for no reason whatsoever??? So, um ... what was I saying? Oh, yeah ... marriage is hard!


At April 17, 2006 3:39 PM, Blogger Tonyette said...

Thank you, Toya! Again, the honesty is VERY much appreciated! I mean, people do say "marriage is hard" like sometimes, every now and again. But you gave me the breakdown, to say, it's CONSTANTLY hard and I appreciate that!!

At April 18, 2006 8:20 AM, Anonymous Mel said...

All I've got to say is: Amen, amen, amen!

At April 18, 2006 9:28 AM, Blogger Calamity H. Jane said...

Haha! this is so bloody funny.

OK but now I'm scared......

At April 18, 2006 1:08 PM, Anonymous rachel said...

Ha! So funny, so true. The PH threw away my soap dish yesterday. THE NERVE! I was hunting around the house for something of his to throw away this morning, then I gave up. Any suggestions? And yeah, I don't think he ever washed his sheets before we got together. Barf.


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