The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

No offense

It has been several days since I've posted on this blog. This blog has brought me joy - I've had such fun writing on it and responding to your comments. But, in the recent past, I was confronted by a family member who'd read some of my posts and had taken issue with them. She questioned my use of certain language and some of the things I've said about my husband. It is not my practice to be one who uses curse words willy-nilly. Nor do I think I have made it my practice here. Yes, I have, at times, used curse words - I do not try to pretend that I think they are the most eloquent choice, nor necessarily the right choice. However, when I wrote what I did, it was usually in anger, frustration, or disbelief. And yes, I, like everyone else, say things that I later wish I hadn't said. But I stand by those statements/posts as they were written because they were written honestly. In writing about my husband, I have done so with frustration sometimes. But never have I written anything in secret. My husband is well aware of this blog and has read it - I have even read some of the posts to him. I always, always say things to and about him with love - because I love and respect him. I take issue with anyone who tries to make it seem that my marriage is less than happy, encouraging or stable. Victor is my rock in a stormy world and I am his. We are perfect matches for one another - but we are not perfect people. I thank him, for when I told him what was said, he was incredulous and angry. He reassured me that no one in this world has had his back like I have. And he has been doing his darndest lately to make me feel appreciated! I did not like the way I was confronted. Not because I don't like confrontation - sometimes it's necessary. But I was angry and offended. However, I have gone beyond that. In that same conversation, I was given a pearl of wisdom - one chooses whether or not to be offended. And I choose not to take offense. I choose forgiveness. I choose to let it go. Because it's good for me. 2006 is here. It is a new season ... it's a new day! I leave past hurts and angers where they belong - in the past. And I choose to move forward. I will continue to write this blog because it brings me joy. I pray that it will be as uplifting for you as it is for me. I want us to laugh together because I don't think life has enough laughter. I want us to have fun together. Yes, I am a Christian - I do not hide it. I am not ashamed of my relationship with CHRIST. I want my life to be for His glory - I don't want to have to walk around proclaiming my Christianity. And I want to live my life with compassion - I want people to want to approach me and to feel loved in my presence. I believe that is what He wants from my life. There you go. This is my goal for the '06. To live life with joy. Every day. And not allow one drop of that joy to be stolen.

2 Comments:

At January 04, 2006 2:09 PM, Blogger Tonyette said...

Toya, ok, I was TRYING to make a brief comment but it was getting longer and longer. SO, I'll email you my "real" response and just say here "I completely applaud you!"

 
At January 09, 2006 7:14 AM, Anonymous Rachel said...

Hi, Toya! I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but you handled it so well and have a great perspective! One thing I learned from Dan Savage (besides how freaky people can be) is that "people like to be offended." It gives them a chance to play high-and-mighty and holier-than-thou. It always says much much much more about the 'offended' person that the person accused of offensiveness. Sure, some things truly are offensive, like pedophilia or racism. But living life with joy and goodness? I don't think so. Lots of love to you.

 

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