The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Golden Globes Fashion Wrap-Up

Those of you who know me know that I cannot pass up an awards show - not because I care all that much about who wins, but because I want to see what everyone's wearing!!! So, here we go - the Golden Globes Fashion Wrap-Up! I watched E!'s coverage of the red carpet arrivals. I just have to say to E! - thank GOD you fired Star Jones. She always irked me - the wheezing, the ugly dresses, the ridiculous fawning over her celebrity "friends." Ryan Seacrest was a welcome change. (Wow, who would have thought I'd ever say that sentence?) However, I cannot say the same for Isaac Mizrahi. Previously, I've loved him. But, you know what? He should not be on the red carpet interviewing anyone ever again. Just how many celebrities did he assault? I mean, he looked down Teri Hatcher's dress! He asked Eva Longoria about how her pubes were shaped! Come on!!! Onto the fashion! Camryn Manheim: She looked gorgeous! I thought her gown was an interesting grayish-purple and wonderfully sparkly. It fit perfectly. Full-figured fabulosity! Margarita Fox (Matthew's wife): She looked awful. That necklace or neckline or whatever it was looked like a vine that was choking her. Sandra Oh: Lovely. Great silhouette. Very fluid. Grace (Sandra's sister): That dress was also a great silhouette on her - she looked beautifully pregnant. Teri Hatcher: In the copper sequin fishtail, dipped in the back. I loved it, but I absolutely hated her lipstick. It was grayish-brown - hideous. Couldn't you have gone with a copper-y lipstick, Teri? Bronze, even? Anne Hathaway: I thought her make-up was gorgeous - I really liked the vintage matte red lips. I thought the dress was pretty, but made her look like she had a belly. Matt Dillon: Get new hair. Doing the mini-pompadour does not make you look younger. Jane Seymour: She looked beautiful and luminous in that rosy pink. Eric Bana: I don't get it. I hear that he's hot ... but I haven't seen the hotness yet. Maybe it's just me. Alanis Morrissette: Alanis is blonde! Wow. It looks good on her? I don't know. I haven't made up my mind if I like or not yet. Virginia Madsen: She looked really good in her silvery aquamarine and her long earrings were lovely. Patrick Dempsey (!): He is sex on a stick! He has the best hair ever! Terrence Howard: In that silver tie - yum! I loved the flower in the lapel. Lisa Rinna: Her lips scare me. 'Nuff said. Katherine Heigl: She wore a purple tie-dye gown, which sounds ugly, but was absolutely beautiful. I was really happy that she decided to go all out and try something new and different. I think true style is when one goes outside the box and sets trends. And come on, she's young! Young people should have fun with fashion. There were other young women there who could stand to take a lesson. Kevin Bacon: He had shaggy dog hair and a 70s prom night ruffled shirt. What the heck? Jaime Pressley: I was impressed with her because she always strikes me as a bit of a slut. But she looked nice and golden without the orange tinge of that fake and bake tan. Jeremy Piven: It wouldn't have hurt "The Piv" to shave. He grosses me out. He's such a sleaze monkey. Eva Longoria: Fabulous, bombshell red and great, neutral make-up. Natalie Portman: She looks nice with the close-cut hair, but should have had more jewelry as a result. She looked really bare. I know that "streamlined" and "clean" is in - but she looked more ... naked. Sarah Jessica Parker: I don't think the dress did well on TV or something. I didn't like it at all. Ruffles are yuck. Kyra Sedgwick: She has great boobs ... or a great bra. But I didn't love the gown. Heath Ledger: How can he be that young and already have a receding hairline? Weird. Michael Ealy: SCRUMPF! (Meloni will know what that means. "Scrumpf" is a word that stands for extreme hotness and sexishness and ... manliness and who knows what all else. A man has "scrumpf" when he has something that makes you want him that you can't even verbalize. Not many men have scrumpf, obviously.) Columbo: Who let their crotchety old grandpa lose on the red carpet? Marcia Cross: Peaches and cream perfection. She is so lovely - I love that she sticks to her pale, porcelain skin without giving it a fake tan. Ladies, if you're pale - learn to love it! Candice Bergen: Elegant and sleek. Ludacris: Luda!!! He looked great in that velvet tux - brotha was clean as a whistle. Joaquin Phoenix: He was so hot ... and so high. Zhang Ziyi: I didn't like it. I thought that bright, neon yellow was ugly and I didn't think the color flattered her at all. Debra Messing: She looked really tropical. Nice, but not all that interesting. Reese Witherspoon: The top of her dress looked like it was made of fish scales. What was that - mermaid chic? Yuck! I was disappointed because I usually like what she wears. Ryan Phillippe: He is so handsome, but I fear he's a bit of a fool. What was with the yelling out during Joaquin's acceptance speech? And, would it have killed him to button his shirt? Geez! Cynthia Nixon: What's with all the redheads going blonde? I don't think the big hair worked for her, at all. Keira Knightley: The "blondening" works for her - it makes her face look less severe, to me. Melanie Griffith: She was obviously drunk. Geena Davis: I thought she looked wonderful ... fabulous, old Hollywood glamour. Kate Beckinsale: The hem of her dress looked like a doily. Hate. Felicity Huffman: Nice and Grecian. Jessica Alba: Ho-hum. That dress did not impress me at all. It was way too conservative and old. Gwyneth Paltrow: Gwyneth. Gwyneth! Okay ... I've never loved her. Never. I don't think she's particularly pretty and she strikes me as a snot. And last night? My GOD. She looked like an old tablecloth that had been mouldering in the attic for centuries. Is that really the look she was going for? Pam Anderson: That dress was conservative for her, but still ugly as sin. Charlize Theron: Disappointment. It was really unattractive. And why is she always overly tanned? Queen Latifah: She looked beautiful in turquoise. Very silky. I wanted to touch that dress. Penelope Cruz: Awful, AWFUL hair! Mariah Carey: Does she have cheek implants??? Scarlett Johannson: She looked really pretty, but what stands out most is that she was groped by The Miz. (AKA Isaac Mizrahi) Johnny Depp: I love him, but he looked like a rabid pirate. Rachel Weisz: That dress was a gross color and did nothing for her - she looked sallow. Ellen Pompeo: MESS! HOT MESS! HOT BUTTERED MESS!!!! Drew Barrymore: Oh, Drew - get a bra. Please. Please! I think you're so adorable, but you had old lady boobs in that dress. Oded Fehr: Good LORD, he's beautiful! Ian McShane: He could have left the cowboy togs at home. Worst dressed men: Kevin Bacon, Ryan Phillippe, Johnny Depp Best dressed men: Patrick Dempsey, Terrence Howard Worst dressed women: Margarita Fox, Reese Witherspoon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ellen Pompeo Best dressed women: Camryn Manheim, Katherine Heigl, Candice Bergen

3 Comments:

At January 18, 2006 9:42 AM, Anonymous Meloni said...

As always, gotta love the wrap-up!!! But, I need to know, why didn't you call me when Michael Ealy was on?!?!?! You KNOW I'd have flipped to it for THAT! SCRUMPF!!! And, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in my admiration of Oded Fehr. Watching "Sleeper Cell" was a pure joy!

Keep up the good work. I can't bear to sit through most of that mess, but it's always fun to catch the highlights. Maybe next time you can add pictures to the comments of those who deserve special treatment (good or - uh - not). That way, we don't have to google them to see what you're talking about! :-P

 
At January 18, 2006 8:19 PM, Anonymous Madelyn said...

I'm laughing my butt off right now. I love your Mariah Carey comment! You are too funny!

 
At January 28, 2006 11:38 AM, Anonymous Christina Jones said...

Amen on that Gwyneth Paltrow dress. Yuck-o.

Love your blog!

 

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