The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Today's private lesson

Today, Na'lani let me see some good Lebanese dancing. Dancers like Amani and Samara. It was wonderful dancing. I'm so glad when I'm able to really look at the true stars of bellydance - I learn so much from watching and soaking it in. I tell you what - those Lebanese dancers rock! After we watched the videos and talked about performing, we started talking about Lotus' upcoming show. Na'lani told me that Lotus is going for a more professional-type show this go 'round, so not as many students were invited to perform. On the one hand, I am incredibly honored that I am one of the students who "made the cut", so to speak. On the other hand, the pressure just ratcheted up 500%. I so desperately want not to embarrass Lotus. She has been a great teacher and inspiration and I am in awe of her talent and showmanship. I want her to believe that she made the right choice by asking me to perform. And, since Na'lani has been giving me private instruction and choreographing my dances, it's also my job to make her look good. How I dance will be a representation of her teaching. I know that she's an awesome teacher and choreographer and I want my performance to prove that. I know I have to have some degree of talent or I would never have been invited to dance in the first place, but I also know that I have so much to learn. I'm going to work my butt off until the day of the show. I just really want to do well. I don't need to blow anybody away - just be good enough that Lotus and Na'lani will be proud and I will be satisfied with my performance. When I told Na'lani how pressured and nervous I felt, she showed me the video of her first solo. She fell and busted her knee. But she got right back up and finished dancing, on beat with the music and everything. That's professionalism - she was able to finish her dance beautifully, though she had to wipe away angry, embarrassed tears at the end. She told me that every dancer will have a catastrophe happen at some time, so I should expect it and learn to laugh it off. If I can laugh it off, the audience will, too, and they will respect me. Please GOD, don't let anything like that happen. And if it does, give me the grace and presence of mind to handle it.


At November 08, 2005 3:50 PM, Anonymous rachel said...

Have faith. You earned this and you will rock it! Will anyone be video taping?

At November 08, 2005 4:01 PM, Blogger Toya said...

Yes, Lotus' show is videotaped every year and I think all participants get one.

Thanks for the encouragement!


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