The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

There's a difference ...

... between forgiving someone and volunteering to be a victim again and again. Okay ... so I watched the Tyra Banks Show today. After a while, there's not much to do when you're feeling sick as a dog ... I've already showered and washed my hair and twisted it, did a load of laundry, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, made myself lunch and ate it and surfed the 'Net a bit. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Though I heard this phrase on a unfailingly boring and shallow talk show (Tyra should really stick to America's Next Top Model), it's still true. I have known way too many women who have fallen prey to a man over and over because she felt the need to forgive him. Now, you all know I'm a Christian. I am for forgiveness. I am commanded to forgive ... and I think I'm quite a forgiving person. But, thankfully, I have realized that there's a huge difference between forgiveness and allowing a person to walk on you over and over. When someone repeatedly does me wrong, I forgive him ... but I learn and remember who he is. If a person is broken in some way - selfish, emotionally or mentally abusive, dishonest, etc. - it is not my job to fix him or offer him myriad opportunities to harm me. I forgive ... I can even love ... but I love myself too much to give somebody free rein over my life. I wish I could transfer this feeling to all of my girlfriends ... really, to every woman. Because there are way too many women living with men who aren't worthy of them because they've "forgiven him."

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