The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

My weekend

(As I type this, I will try to keep in mind Dooce's Rules for Blogging, particularly the one about not saying anything on your blog that you would not say to that person's face.) My mother-in-law was here this past weekend. Those of you who know me well know that I am not my MIL's biggest fan. Still, I try to remain objective. It's not easy, though, and, to be fair, I'm sure that I automatically have my defenses up when I see her. So, okay, over the course of the weekend, here are some of the things she said in my hearing (meaning, I was sitting a stone's throw away from her, so she wasn't saying these things behind my back): "Vic, I can't believe you let her dance like that. You need to buy yourself a big stick to beat all the boys away. She's shaking everything." (Said re: Sarai, who is turning into quite a little bellydancer. ) "I always wanted my granddaughter to be a dancer, but this isn't what I meant. I meant a ballerina, you know, a real dancer. But if that's what makes her mother happy, I guess I'll have to deal wtih it." (To which I replied, "I'm sure all the women and men who make their livings as professional bellydancers would be surprised to know that it's not "real dancing." Oh, and being a ballerina requires being extremely thin and flat-chested. Take a look at me. If Sarai takes after me at all, she would have to literally starve herself to fit that mold.") "That gymnastics interested me more than all the rest of that bellydance stuff." (Said after watching a performance on the "Bellydance Superstars Live in Paris" DVD in which Adoré combined BD and gymnastics. To which I replied, "Then you probably don't want to come see me dance. There will be no tricks involved.") "Isn't she large to be a bellydancer?" (Upon seeing Shareen el Safy dance. Okay, she's a full-figured woman, but what am I? A twig? I asked her if she thought I was too big to be a bellydancer, to which she gave me "the eye" and said, "Well, I didn't say that." Uh, yeah, you did. I'm not dumb and I get the implication. Even Vic said that it was clear what she was implying.) While she was there, she insulted the way I'm raising Sarai, my cooking, my cleaning, the conference to which my church belongs, why I don't sing on a particular choir, my thoughts on the hurricane relief efforts and my choice of television viewing. Good LORD. I thank GOD for my husband, who supports me and loves me, though it's clear that his mother doesn't. And, yes, I would say all of the above to her face.

7 Comments:

At September 06, 2005 1:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At September 06, 2005 1:47 PM, Blogger Toya said...

Dude! I turned on the word verification and I still get spam! Not cool!

Please take note, spammers . . . I check my e-mail often and am notified of all comments and I will delete you quick enough to make your head spin.

 
At September 06, 2005 2:03 PM, Anonymous tonyette said...

First of all, this is my favorite "Anchorman" quote thus far! Secondly, you are very blessed to have a husband who loves his mother but doesn't let her OBVIOUS feelings for you adversely affect him! That's a wonderful thing!

 
At September 06, 2005 2:12 PM, Anonymous rachel said...

you are doing great with the MIL-management. hang in there! so glad you survived the weekend. :)

 
At September 08, 2005 8:09 AM, Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Oh man, Toya, that's awful. I hope your husband stuck up for you!

 
At September 08, 2005 8:28 AM, Blogger Toya said...

He did, Lucy. He let it be known that he will not allow her to disrespect me in my own house and that she will learn to talk to me with respect or she will not be invited back. He also apologized to me on her behalf and assured me that it won't happen again. It better not. I'm not sure how much longer I can remain civil.

 
At September 09, 2005 8:17 AM, Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Toya, I'm so glad he's on your side and stuck up for you. Too often in these situations, the husbands turn into doormats and let their mothers run roughshod over their wives. (err, I may have some grammatical issues in the last sentence, but please disregard.) He sounds like a good guy. :)

 

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