The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Oh my GOD - I'm terrified!

Yesterday, after taking Intermediate Lebanese Bellydance and Latin Nightclub Basics at Lotus' studio (El Mishaal -, Monique (a member of the Niraja Dance Company) pulled me aside into the office and asked me if I want to dance at the Five Seasons sometime between October and December. I was flabbergasted - I still am. I mean, do you realize how much I sweat Monique???? She is such an awesome dancer and she always looks so happy when she dances. For her to ask me to dance is such an honor - I'm so flattered. And so scared. I mean, oh my GOD!!! Am I ready for this??? I feel like I have to get a million private lessons before I'll be ready. I just don't know. I said I would do it, but I don't want to embarrass Monique or Lotus! GOD. I am killing myself here. The nervousness is really getting to me. I need to build my self-confidence. But I feel like I'm such a baby dancer. Still, Monique knows that - she knows that I'm new to the dance. And if she thinks I can cut it . . . then, I guess I can. But I'm so scared! During that same conversation, Lotus, Laury, Monique and I were talking about the upcoming Suhaila workshop/show in the DC area. I was so excited because I'd already bought my ticket for the show (which I know will be a fabulous one - I can't wait to see Suhaila in person!). They asked if I am planning to take the workshops and I said no because I'm scared. Which is true. I mean, I do Suhaila's Fitness Fusion DVDs for strengthening and drilling on days when I'm not in class and those 40 minute workouts kick my butt! I can't imagine what it'd be like to take 2 straight hours of that, then lunch, then another two hours. But Lotus and Monique both assured me that, though Suhaila's workshops are hard, she makes them fun and I have nothing to be afraid of. I was still unsure and went home to talk to Vic about it. He said that he has never seen me in love with anything the way I am with bellydance and that he's seen the changes in me since I've started dancing. He reminded me that, if I hope to be the best, I have to be willing to train with the best. He is such a wise man and a good husband. So . . . I think I have to sign up for the Suhaila workshop. I will get to meet The Goddess of All Things Bellydance in person! I am freaked.


At August 10, 2005 12:49 PM, Anonymous tonyette said...

I'm so EXCITED for you! You'll do GREAT in the workshop AND at the Five Seasons!

At August 11, 2005 12:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Toya, you'll be a star! For sure! Don't even worry about it.

At August 16, 2005 10:23 AM, Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

let me know which month you end up doing the 5 seasons... I'll try to stop by. :)

I'm doing the Suhaila workshops too - I'm nervous because I am dancing in the show that night, and I have a feeling that I will be EXHAUSTED!!! At least you've been doing the tapes. ;)

At August 16, 2005 10:33 AM, Blogger Toya said...

I won't be able to do the second day of the Suhaila workshops because it's Young Adult Day at my church. I'm trying to decide if it's worth the money to only do one day of the workshop. Decisions, decisions!

At August 17, 2005 1:26 PM, Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

BTW, I just found out I'm a feature at the Five Seasons in October. So maybe I'll get to meet you!

At August 17, 2005 1:39 PM, Blogger Toya said...

Cool! Even if I'm not dancing in Oct., I'll come and see you dance.


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