The Life of a Ladybug

live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. -mary anne radmacher

Friday, July 15, 2005

To my sistas with relaxed hair

Sista, Please don't feel that you have to explain your relaxed hair to me. I get it. I had relaxed hair for almost 20 years. I get that you feel more able to deal with straight hair. I get that straight hair is easier for you. I get that you like the look of straight hair. I get that you just can't understand nappy-ness. I get all of that, hon. What I don't get is why you feel the need to justify your hair choices to me. It's your hair, not mine, and frankly, I didn't ask you. Your hair style is cute and it works for you. Great. Same here. Feel free to comment on the cuteness/thickness/nappyness of mine, as long as you do so in a way that won't get you slapped. I'll do the same for you.


At July 15, 2005 11:33 AM, Anonymous Rachel said...

I hear you. A lot of people also get like this if you say you are vegetarian-- they feel they suddenly have to explain their food choices to me and I really don't care. Whatever makes you happy, you know?

At July 18, 2005 9:43 AM, Anonymous Mel said...

Hold on a second...I think I know what the problem is. So many women with natural hair are a part of the "Natural Movement" and try to influence everyone to be like them that some of the relaxed sisters are just used to explaining themselves. While I understand that you are doing it for you rather than to influence and "enlighten", others who may not know you as well probably think you are a part of The Movement. Sure, it's still got to be annoying for you, but if you think back on all the "enlightenment" foolishness at UM-BuCk the next time you are approached, it may help you to be more patient with them. :)

At July 19, 2005 7:39 AM, Blogger Toya said...

You know, that would "fly" with me if I had been talking to the girl when it happened. It would make sense if she knew me or if she had been having a conversation with me. However, I was standing in the cafeteria line waiting for breakfast, minding my own business and she walked up out of the blue and said, "I used to have my hair like that" and then proceeded to go on a long tirade about why she started perming again. And the whole time, I'm thinking, "Lady, I just want my breakfast sandwich. Please feel free to keep it to yourself." As it was, I just gave her a few noncommittal "uh-huhs" and kept floating. Yeah, it's annoying. Just about as annoying as the folks who try to make women with straight hair go "natural." My point is this: Do whatever you want to with your hair. It's your business. Feel free not to involve me. Particularly if it means you have to come over while I'm in the midst of procuring food. Because believe me, if you stand in between me and food, I will cut you.

At July 19, 2005 10:21 AM, Anonymous Shellee said...

Talking of natural hair and "enlightenment": I saw Fertile Ground on Saturday at Pier 6 (we were there for the Maze concert). McKay (spelling?) introduced them with "this is not a show, its a revolution". She had two huge dreadlock balls on the side of her head that made her look like Mickey Mouse. Fertile Ground was alright, but Navasha was shaking all over the stage. I digressed and forgot my point.

At July 19, 2005 10:22 AM, Anonymous Mel said...

Okay, okay, maybe it's like this...they've started an ANTI-ENLIGHTENMENT MOVEMENT, so it's the relaxed girls' chance to accost!!! LOL!

At July 19, 2005 10:39 AM, Blogger Toya said...

I heard that Fertile Ground was gonna be at Pier 6. It was too late for me to get tickets, though, and I'm not a huge fan of Maze.


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